I Deactivated My Socials

Melissa J. Hogan
3 min readJan 8, 2022

On New Year’s Eve, I deactivated my socials. I even deleted the apps off my phone.

It is tempting to think (and for me to say) that it was some new year’s resolution social media fast.

It wasn’t.

My last tweet thread resulted in a serious vulnerability hangover, as Brené Brown calls it.

I was also gripped by an overwhelming sense of fear. Fear that I was coming close to a line I couldn’t uncross.

I had tweeted a few threads that revealed more about the trauma I had walked though in my marriage and was still walking through, more than I had ever before.

I had walked right up to the line and stepped on it.

Last night a friend asked me what line was I talking about? That was a tough one.

I’ve struggled privately and publicly with what to speak and when to speak. The truth — always. But balancing that with grace and love. And a desire for the repentance of those who have committed harm. But also with the reality that in many cases, silence is actually unhealthy and harmful.

For example, for many years, I knew that certain topics were “family matters.” It was never explicit. We just knew that we didn’t talk…



Melissa J. Hogan

Attorney. Advocate. Author, “Afraid of the Doctor: Every Parent’s Guide to Preventing and Managing Medical Trauma.” Find me at melissajhogan.com