How to Be a Friend to an Abuse Survivor

Melissa J. Hogan
4 min readAug 30, 2022

When someone offers to share with you about their experience of abuse, it’s like they’re standing in the middle of a trashed room, furniture smashed, paint peeling everywhere, shit smeared on the walls.

They open the door and now they’re standing there waiting.

Photo by Nolan Issac on Unsplash

You, the listener, have several options.

Melissa J. Hogan

Lawyer. Author, “Afraid of the Doctor: Every Parent’s Guide to Preventing and Managing Medical Trauma.” Find me at